Whisper's Blog

Dear Whispers,
A friend of mine has two kids. They are out of control. They do whatever they want, throw things, jump on furniture, yell, scream, just be obnoxious, and she doesn’t do anything. Whenever she comes to visit and brings them it’s a real nightmare for me. I end up making them behave. They are quite capable of minding their manners when someone puts their foot down, so they aren’t hopeless. She looks hurt when I correct them or tell them to stop doing what they are doing. I really like her as a person, but have no respect for her as a parent. She keeps coming over so maybe my getting on her kids really doesn’t bother her that much. I am beginning to question whether I want her in my life.

Signed
Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

On the other hand raising her children is not your responsibility. Being her friend is, (if you choose to continue the relationship). You might suggest that she attend parenting classes, seek advice from a member of her clergy, or a professional counselor. Being honest with your friend will either strengthen your bonds or sever them completely. You really can’t be a good friend if you ignore problems and allow them to flourish. All you’ll end up with are resentments. Gentle honesty laced with love and concern is always the best medicine.

Here’s to friendship,
Whizie

Dear Whispers,
My problem is a teacher. He makes jokes about me in the classroom. He mimics me. I don’t know what to do.
Signed
A Student

Dear Student,

No one ever deserves to be publicly humiliated, or made the brunt of a joke. We are all responsible for our actions and for our reactions. You can handle this situation very simply by letting those people who are in charge know that there is a problem.

I hope this helps,
Whizie

Dear Whispers,
my boyfriend hurts my feelings. he never says I’m fat but always says how skinny girls are pretty. he makes this sound when I say something like im so stupid. is it me or is he rude?
Signed
sad

Dear Sad,
I don’t know your boyfriend so I can’t say if he’s rude or not. His behavior doesn’t appear to be what you’d expect from someone who thinks highly of you. He might be clueless when it comes to women, or girls, but I question why you put up with the way he acts towards you.

My guess is that the more you learn to accept youself for who you are the less likely you’ll be to pay attention to what some boyfriend thinks or doesn’t think. You might also end up allowing yourself to date a guy who treats you like you’re as wonderful as you are.

Keep on keeping on,
Whizie

Dear Whispers,
I work with a real busybody. She is one of those people who asks what I paid for stuff. Where did I get it. Where did i go. What did I do. At work she knows everything about everyone and spreds it all around. How do I deal with her. I don’t want to end up yelling.
Signed
Had Enuff

Dear Had Enuff,
One time I asked a friend something personal and she asked me if what I had just asked her was really any of my business. I was dumbfounded at first, but then realized it wasn’t any of my my business. That might seem to be harsh, and could backfire on you if you say it strongly or in an irritated way. You might consider being frank with the busybody. Tell her how her inquisitions, and participating in office gossip makes you feel. You could point out there’s no room for personal business in the workplace. You could also turn it around and ask her personal questions. People usually treat others the way they want to be treated. She might be acting on a need to be noticed.

When it comes to gossip another friend of mine says something that I think is profound. She says, “I am an expert on subjects about me. I will listen if you want to talk about you, but neither one of us knows all the facts when it comes to someone else.”

Good Luck,
Whizie

Dear Whispers,
hello, I have a 15 year old son, we are military dependents, so we travel around alot. Over the past few years he has became a bit time hermit with the xbox(live), and he never goes outside or plays with anyone else. He also is getting all fs in school… Please give some advice… he is a good boy though. i am just worried about him.

Signed
Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,
I’ll bet it’s really difficult making new friends when you have to move a lot. I found a wonderful site here that might help you more than I can, but I’ll give it a try anyway.

On a personal note. I would like to thank you and your family for being a military family and for all the sacrifices each of you makes. We non-military people have no idea what you go through. We can only imagine.

You’re in my prayers,
Whizie

Dear Whispers,
I have an 8 year old who is the pickiest eater in the whole world. I am concerned she is not getting proper nutrition to grow in a healthy way. Any ideas???

Signed
The mother of Picky Nicky

Dear Mother of Picky Nicky,
I was fortunate enough to have one of those clever moms who seemed to have an instinct about how to solve any problem in child rearing. She gets all the credit when it comes to getting finicky kids to eat.

Kids can learn table manners, all about what fork to use, and eating on good china, but nutrition has to take precedence over social graces. Besides that who needs the stress of worrying about what your kids are eating and not eating. What the heck, set your table with used, (and cleaned), soup and vegetable cans, or plastic dog bowls if it will peak a kids interest. Life’s too short to not be fun!

Have Fun Inventing Meals,
Whizie

Dear Whidspers: I don’t want to be seen in public with my mom. She looks awful. Her hair is awful and she wears clothes that
nobody would be caught dead in.

My friends all laugh at her. I spend a lot of time on how I look. I think she should too. I wish some show would get hold of her and give her a makeover.

Thanks
Embarrassed by Mom

Dear Embarrassed by Mom
Some people think how they look is unimportant. Others can lose interest in their appearance because of depression, or ill-health. There are also those who are perfectly happy with the style they have adopted, and see no reason to change.

If she is comfortable with how she looks then the problem is yours, and only you can fix you.

Good luck with Mom
Whizie